My Life Got Better When I Stopped Waiting and Started Changing It

This is How My Life Got Better

For a long time, I thought my life would feel better once certain things fell into place.

When I had more time. When my body felt different. When circumstances changed.

But the biggest shift came when I stopped waiting for change to happen and decided to create it myself.

Not all at once, and not perfectly. Just through small, intentional edits that made my life feel better now instead of someday.

Here’s what that looked like in practice:

1. I Stopped Waiting for a Better Body and Dressed the One I Have

After having my daughter, my body changed in ways I didn’t fully expect. My pre-baby wardrobe didn’t fit the same (or at all), and for a while I held onto it as motivation, as if getting back into those clothes would somehow signal that everything was back.

Eventually, even my postpartum wardrobe stopped working. It wasn’t just about fit, it was how I felt in it.

Nothing felt quite right, and I realized I was showing up in clothes that didn’t reflect how I wanted to feel in my life.

Upgrading my wardrobe became less about appearance and more about self respect.

Instead of waiting for a different version of my body, I started buying clothes that fit me now. Pieces I actually want to wear. Things that feel comfortable, pulled together, and aligned with the way I want to show up day to day.

If my body changes again, I’ll adjust. I can tailor, resell, or replace things over time. But for now, I’m not postponing feeling good in my own life.

2. I Rebuilt My Relationship With Movement, Gently

Getting back into exercise after having a baby wasn’t straightforward.

I had a c-section, a long recovery, and then another surgery in 2025. On top of that, the world looked different in 2021, and the idea of going back to a gym environment didn’t feel appealing.

There was a version of me that loved working out before, and it took time to find my way back to that in a way that actually fit my current life.

Now, my focus is simple and sustainable.

I aim for at least 8,000 steps a day. I work out a couple of times a week, and more when it works in my calendar. And I’ve taken the pressure off doing everything perfectly.

Physio was a big part of this. It helped me rebuild strength properly and feel more confident in my body again.

More than anything, I shifted from exercising to change my body to moving because I want to feel strong, capable, and well. That mindset alone made it easier to stay consistent.

3. I Started Using Desire as Direction

There’s a moment we all have when we see something and think, that would be nice.

A certain lifestyle. A home. A routine. A way of living.

Instead of pushing that feeling away or turning it into comparison, I started treating it as information.

If something stands out to me, there’s usually a reason.

Now, I use those moments to refine what I want. I’ll add ideas to a vision board, write things down, or simply take note of what I’m drawn to.

It becomes part of how I shape my goals and the direction I’m moving in.

This approach completely changed how I experience those moments. There’s no sense of lack in it. It’s just clarity.

And when you’re clear on what you want, you can actually start building toward it.

4. I Took Responsibility for How I Feel, Day to Day

Feeling better didn’t come from one big change. It came from a series of small, intentional decisions that support me on a daily basis.

Some of them are simple:

• Having a signature scent that makes me feel put together

• Keeping my makeup routine minimal and easy to reset each day

• Refreshing the decor in my home so it represents who I am now

Others are more foundational:

• My husband and I have regular check-ins to plan our lives and stay aligned

• I’ve had honest conversations with friends and family instead of avoiding hard things

• I’ve become more intentional about where I put my energy, prioritizing relationships that feel mutual and setting boundaries where needed

And a big part of this has also been having the courage to ask for more out of life.

Not in an abstract way, but in very real, practical terms:

• Asking for what I want

• Making the request

• Starting the conversation

• Being clear in my communication

This is something I’ve been exploring more deeply through what I call the 100 Ask Challenge, where the goal is simply to get comfortable asking.

Not because every answer will be yes, but because the act of asking changes how you move through your life.

Hearing no is inevitable, and with repetition, it builds resilience. And when you look at it practically, more asks lead to more opportunities, which naturally leads to more yeses, which is why I love this process so much.

Curating your life requires asking.

It shifts you from waiting to being involved. From hoping something happens to creating opportunities for it to happen.

Most people don’t get what they want because they never actually ask for it. And when you start asking, you realize how much more is available than you thought.

These choices aren’t always dramatic, but they’re consistent. And they add up. And this approach has definitely changed my life for the better this year.

The Shift

None of this is about having everything figured out. It’s about no longer outsourcing the quality of your life to other people or external circumstances.

You don’t need to wait for a different season, a different body, or a different version of yourself to start creating a life that feels good.

You can begin where you are. And often, that’s the moment things start to change. That's been the case for me.